If one key could unlock all your superpowers, wouldn't you want it on your key chain?
There is such a key. I call it embodied awareness. When you become conscious of what's running on autopilot in your subconscious, you have the power to change how you experience any circumstance or situation.
Embodied awareness begins with noticing the little things we often ignore or blow past. In horsemanship, for example, you might approach your horse with a halter without noticing that your horse turned his head slightly away when he saw you coming. You might just halter him anyway and go off thinking all is well. But all is not well and it’s important that you pay attention to the cue because your ride may not turn out as smoothly as you expected.
How is this relevant in your everyday life experiences? Let me explain by sharing a story. I recently placed a to-go order at a local café. After placing the order, I left to do a few quick errands. I planned to pick up my mail, stop at the grocery for milk, and top off my car’s gas tank. I estimated I could get it all done in the 15 minutes that the café estimated was needed to get my order ready. I loved this plan because it meant I wouldn't waste time waiting around.
I got my mail, but the grocery store took longer than planned. So, I skipped filling my car’s gas tank and hurried back to the café. My order wasn’t ready. I had to wait. Darn it, I thought, I could have stopped at the gas station. I questioned my decision to skip topping off the gas tank, which for me triggers a self-worth crisis. Instead of noticing my building self-doubt, I blew past the cue and took out my phone and started to scroll through my social media feed.
But I couldn’t focus. Shouldn’t my order be ready by now? Should I leave and get gas? Should I stay? Ugh. Now I was feeling totally worthless and angry at "everything". I shoved my phone back into my pocket and started pacing impatiently. My whole day was being ruined. (LOL! Have you ever over-reacted like this to a small thing?)
Finally, I stopped to notice what was happening. I was barely breathing, my stomach hurt, my jaw was clenched, my shoulders were tight, and I was beginning to have a headache. Also, a familiar subroutine of negative mental chatter was running in the background, fueled by my faulty core belief that my self-worth was at stake: “Sheri, you’re so stupid, you should have stopped at the gas station. Wrong decision. You’re such a failure.”
After noticing my negative self-talk, I noticed my nervous system's emotional state. I was feeling anxious, frustrated, and angry. At this point, my automatic thought response was: “Sheri, it’s stupid to feel this way about a late to-go order. Just get over it. It's not that big a deal.”
For you horse people, this way of reacting to your nervous system's signals is like chasing a horse around the round pen with a scary flag to "desensitize" him so he won't feel anxious about it anymore. Our cultural programming promotes this treatment. We're taught to cowboy up, soldier on, just get over it. But this is a very unkind and unhealthy way to treat ourselves or our horses.
Because I've practiced embodied awareness, I was able to notice that what I was experiencing in the cafe was a trauma response and it was hijacking me out of the present moment. Underneath the anxiety and anger was the real trigger: I didn’t feel safe. Military training, command responsibilities, job performance demands, motherhood, it had all piled up into a chronic survival response. This survival response of “get the mission accomplished or else bad things will happen" had become an automatic program in my subconscious. In other words, my nervous system was programmed to be in a continual state of tension so that sitting for a moment with nothing to do actually felt very scary.
This awareness now gave me a choice. I could allow these autonomic subroutines to keep running or, I could intentionally redirect my energy and change my experience. I chose to change it.
Just as I would calm a frightened horse, I offered reassurance to my nervous system, not just by thinking different thoughts, but also by feeling safety and relaxation in my body: It’s OK. I know you are frightened. I'm here for you. Nothing bad is going to happen. You are safe. All is well. Relax."
I focused on my heart and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly (a technique called heart breathing for heart-brain coherence). Heart focused breathing rewires and reprograms the the nervous system. So now I could shift my feeling of impatience and anxiety to a feeling of peace, well-being, and gratitude - yes, gratitude for the cues (my inner guidance system) that had empowered me to change my experience in the cafe.
The moral of this story is that whether in the small moments of your day-to-day routine, or in the big moments of personal or professional relationships, embodied awareness empowers transformation.
But you can't get this key on your key chain only by reading about it. It takes practice and experience to notice the cues, listen without judgement, feel it in your body, and be intentional. The great news is that hands-on experiential sessions with the horses will turbocharge your learning process.
Come to a workshop and join me and the horses for a master class in embodied awareness. No prior horse experience is necessary. All interactions with the horses are on the ground and professionally facilitated. These carefully crafted interactions with the horses will help you obtain the key that will unlock your superpowers and transform the way you experience your life's journey.
Available Workshops
To experience the power of breath, heart-brain coherence, and practice peace and present-moment embodied awareness, come to a workshop on Peace & Presence - April 13 also offered April 27.
To learn how to recognize faulty core beliefs and stop your negative self-talk, come to the workshop entitled Tame Your Inner Critic offered on April 26.
To understand your nervous system states and experience how to befriend, heal, and regulate your fight, flight, and freeze responses so you can anchor in wellbeing, come to the workshop entitled Anchor Your Nervous System in Wellbeing on May 31.
To experience trust and cultivate self-compassion instead of self-judgement, come to the workshop entitled Trust Your Inner Guidance System on May 17.
To learn how to consciously create change with the power of clear intention, come to the workshop entitled Intention: The Power to Create Change on June 21.
If you are a horse person interested learning more about connection-based horsemanship, I offer horsemanship lessons and coaching, either with my horses or yours. See the workshops listed under the horsemanship tab of my browse and book workshops page.
Customized workshops are available. I also offer the option to travel to you.
The horses and I look forward to supporting you on your journey.