If you embark on the journey of transformation, you will be in for more than you bargain for. Why? Because bargaining is a mind game, a rationalization process, and transformation is so much more. We bargain with ourselves: If I just change this or that about me, add a little of this or take away that, then I’ll be different and I’ll be a better person. But transformation is a paradox because it isn’t really about adding or subtracting from who we are.
This is not to say that we don’t want to change our habits or behaviors. Sure, let’s do it! But, if you truly answer the “call to adventure”, as Joseph Campbell states it in his study of the universal myth he called “The Hero’s Journey” of self-discovery, then you are embarking on a journey not of mere change but of transformation. In the hero’s journey we are confronted with our dragons, the masks of our false selves. We are lost in the forest, we meet monsters. Eventually we find out that all along we have been fighting ourselves, the monsters inside us. But, when we let go of the fight and allow our egos to die, we actually find ourselves, our true selves, the holy grail. Because ultimately, to truly know ourselves we have to let go of who we think we are and who we think we should be, so we can be who we are.
I know this concept may be difficult to wrap your head around. It is after all a paradox and we can’t just think our way to the answers. But stay with me here. Think about the butterfly. The butterfly is the perfect symbol of transformation because it goes through a complete metamorphosis. It changes from being a caterpillar crawling and inching its way around to emerging from its chrysalis with beautiful wings. But what we often skip over as we marvel at the butterfly is that it all started with the caterpillar being a caterpillar; and the miracle really occurs when the caterpillar’s sense of self is transformed in the chrysalis.
In other words, it is the death of who we think we are and who we think we should be that precedes the transformation into the butterfly. Inside the chrysalis, the caterpillar is dissolving itself into a soup. And, it is probably a difficult experience. We have probably all experienced those times in our lives when we are lost in the soup of adversity when we don’t know which way is up and then we bargain. We try desperately to change our circumstances. If we just add this, subtract that, then we think we will be OK. But, in reality, as the caterpillar enters its chrysalis, all the ingredients necessary for it to become the butterfly are already there, inside that caterpillar. Nothing is added or taken out inside the chrysalis. The ingredients are just transformed.
Ah ha! Do you see where I’m going with this metaphor? Take a moment to let this sink in. Everything the butterfly is when it emerges was already in the caterpillar. But for the butterfly to emerge, it had to dissolve its old form, rearrange and restructure itself, and let go of its former identity. It had to redefine itself. That caterpillar isn’t changing who it is, it is becoming who it really is by letting go of its limiting beliefs. The ego that feels shame and unworthiness is dying -- the self-criticism, judgement, and the fear that “I’m not good enough” or “I need to acquire this or that and then I will be happy” – all of these perceptions of self are being dissolved. The transforming power in the soup is self-acceptance, self-love with a deep inner knowing of inherent self-worth. The caterpillar already is everything it needs to be to become that butterfly.
I hope you will embark on your own journey of transformation. And, if you do answer this call to adventure with clear intention and begin your hero’s journey, I hope you will consider coming to one of our equine-assisted workshops for self-discovery. I think you will find it will be more than you bargained for, because the sole purpose of Heart Connections Horsemanship is to facilitate your journey of transformation and to help you know, deeply and truly, that you already are the butterfly. Go to the HCH services page to learn more.